Hot on the heels of DD10’s joke from last week, here’s one that DS12 told us this morning. He told it in Danish but, thankfully, it’s one of those ones that will work in any language and won’t lose its punchline in translation. A real advantage when you have bilingual kids who want to share their most recent joke with Granny and Grandad, Faster Sonja or Onkel Benny! ;o)
A genie appeared before an old married couple and granted them each one wish. The lady closed her eyes and, when she opened them, she was dressed head to toe in furs and expensive jewellry. She cried out, “Oh, how wonderful!” The man closed his eyes and made his wish. When he opened them, he turned to his wife and said, “Are you still here?!”
DS12 when he was just 2½years old…laughing his head off 🙂
It’s good to laugh. Hope you have a terrific Tuesday! 🙂
My brother and his family (five of them in all) stayed with us at the weekend and – as always happens – we ended up sitting around the table having an epic joke telling session. Someone comes out with a joke and, before you know it, everyone is chipping in with their latest offering…
The jokes your Dad has been telling the last thirty years [groan…]. The dumb-blonde jokes [titter]. The ‘this-embarrasing-thing-actually-happened-to-my-friend’ [snigger]. The ‘this-embarrasing-thing-actually-happened-to-me’ [gasp!]. The knock-knock jokes [tee hee]. The absolutely-not-politically-correct jokes [tut tut!]. And – best of all – those ones where you can’t get the punchline out, because you’re in fits of laughter yourself, knowing what’s coming next…
Well, I tell you, it was balm for the soul. (And I didn’t have to wash off my eyemake-up before I went to bed, because it had already dissolved! Ha!)
Here’s the (old) one that got the ball rolling for us. As told by DD10.
* * * * *
A lady got on the number 185 bus with her baby and asked
for a ticket to Nørreport (centre of Copenhagen).
said the busdriver. “But, my word, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever
The lady was shocked and didn’t know what to reply, so headed
straight for the back of the bus and sat down next to a kindly-looking old
“Well, I’ve never been so insulted in all my life!”, she said. “That
bus driver should be sacked!”
“That’s terrible!”, the old man replied. “I
tell you what, why don’t you go and give him a piece of your mind while I hold
When we were walking to school last week, DD8 said she had a good joke for me. She started telling it and – lo and behold – it was one I told her last year (one my big brother told me). I’d forgotten all about it and it made me laugh out loud at the ungodly hour of 7.45am. No mean feat! The joke made it to the blog back on 23 August but I think that it’s worthy of a re-airing. Hope you think so too! 😛
* * * * *
A lady got on the number 185 bus with her baby and asked for a ticket to Nørreport (centre of Copenhagen).
“Certainly”, said the busdriver. “But, my word, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The lady was shocked and didn’t know what to reply, so headed straight for the back of the bus and sat down next to a kindly-looking old man.
“Well, I’ve never been so insulted in all my life!”, she said. “That bus driver should be sacked!”
“That’s terrible!”, the old man replied. “I tell you what, why don’t you go and give him a piece of your mind while I hold your monkey?”
It’s DS10’s turn to host the school dinner club tonight (2 boys and 2 girls come to play and stay for dinner). When we sit down to eat, we normally ask the kids to tell us their latest jokes. I’d share some of them with you but, unfortunately, sometimes they’re ‘lost in translation’ from Danish to English! 😉
Instead, here are some of our own family ‘classics’. Knock, knock! jokes…
Oh, I didn’t know you were a cuckoo clock!
Cows go who?
Cows don’t go ‘who’, they go ‘mooo’!
Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry!
Aunt you glad I got rid of all those grannies?
And because the kids are hooked on this particular television programme right now….
Today on ‘tee-hee’ Tuesday I want to share one of my favourite jokes. Now – before you all get on your high horses – I know I shouldn’t make fun of my fellow women drivers… After all, I’ve had a driving licence since I was 18 and got my first car at 22…twenty years ago! I was just a slip of a girl, working in Luxembourg at the time. And in the Grand Duchy it was all the rage to have your date of birth (backwards, bien sûr) as your number plate. Not so sure I would want to advertise how old I am these days! 😉
Nevertheless this joke gives me a good ‘tee-hee’ every time. For me, it’s all in the punchline…
* INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE GREAT BELT BRIDGE TOLL BOOTH *
Last night I went to the Comedy Zoo with my girlfriends (I mentioned the club last Tuesday, lookey here) and we had a terrific time. There were six or seven comedians in all (two of them well-known, Tobias Dybvad and Frank Hvam) and, even though they didn’t all have star quality, we laughed and laughed and laughed 🙂
I woke up this morning – 1st of June, the official start of Danish summer – to (yet more) dull, cold, blustery and wet weather. Just what is up with the Danish weather this year? It makes me want to go and live in this place from The Fast Show (a TV series DH and I loved in the 1990s). See for yourself what the weather forecast is like! 😉
Okay, it’s been over a month since I dragged my girlfriends along to Abba The Show in Copenhagen. Don’t you think it’s high time that our high hair and high heels got another airing? 😉
Our next Girls’ Night Out will be the “Open Mike Night” at Comedy Zoo, a really cosy stand-up club, slap bang in the centre of Copenhagen. As the name implies, you never know who’s going to be performing. But it’s always a good mix of comedians who are new on the circuit and ‘known’ names who are trying out new material for their own shows. And the price? 65 Danish kroner (about £7.50 or $10). For Pete’s sake, that’s even cheaper than a cinema ticket! For three riveting hours of live stand-up! Cheap drinks too! [said the canny Scot inside her. Hic.]
Here’s a youtube clip from Comedy Zoo so you can get a feel of the place for yourself. These Open Mike evenings are always sold out and you sit jam packed together at little tables – a great atmosphere. But a word of warning… If audience participation isn’t your cup of tea (or glass of wine), make sure you sit right at the back of the club! 😉
Hope you have a terrific Tee-hee Tuesday – whatever language you laugh in! 🙂
DH are going to a concert on Sunday night. “Flight of the Conchords“. Two ‘funny guys’ from New Zealand who have achieved cult status here in tiny Denmark. They’ve done a couple of television series (though I’ve never managed to see any episodes) based loosely around their repertoire of songs. We’re going to the concert with two friends – K (who’s originally from New Zealand) and her husband D (who’s Danish). K and D lived in New Zealand for a couple of years and studied at university at the same time as Jermaine, the sexy one with glasses! 😉 Small world, n’est-ce pas?
Our good old local Danish library had a copy of their CD!
So as it’s Tee-hee Tuesday here on the blog, here are a couple of clips to show you what DH and I are letting ourselves in for…
Here they are ‘live’ – the first clip that K recommended we watch. “Business Time”
“Hurt Feelings” Have you ever been told that you look like a lama? 😉
Tee-hee, do you like 90s music too? I was hooked by the word “jazzercise” at the beginning of this one…surely the most ridiculous word ever?!
I mentioned Asfora in Sunday’s post (we’ve been out doing virtual weeding in the garden together) and I’m going to mention her again today. You see, we seem to have the same sense of humour. We tweeted together yesterday about food and I asked her “Do you have any eggs in the fridge?” to which she replied “S V F X” (Yes, Ve Have Eggs) which is a famous British comedy sketch by The Two Ronnies. A series I watched – and loved – as a child all through the 70s and 80s.
The Two Ronnies trademark were their glasses…here are two pairs of mine!
Now you all know what happens next, right? Yes…off to youtube I skip and I had such a lovely time trawling through old clips from the television series 😉
Here are three sketches I want to share with you for a good old Tee-hee Tuesday.
First, the S V F X eggs one…
This is a true classic – Mastermind – I rememember it so clearly! The contestant’s chosen subject is “Answering the question before last”…
For sheer comic timing and the fact that Ronnie Corbett is so cute when he speaks to himself in the mirror
But there are so many more I could mention. Enjoy!
The kids and I have been really getting into Star Trek recently. We’ve been die hard Star Wars fans for years, as you’ll know from my previous posts Say what, Darth? and Kitchen Essentials. But, as Danish TV were showing a whole season of Star Trek films on Saturday nights, we started watching them and got hooked. Yes, Star Trek is crummy. Yes, the special effects in the old films are trashy. Yes, the plot can be written in two lines or less. Yes, the terminology is all gobbledygook – something I never thought about as a child. But that’s why it’s so good, right? Almost a parody of itself. So imagine our joy when we found a copy of the new Star Trek film at our local library. I enjoyed it immensely, the kids less so. They didn’t think it was as good as the old films…
When I came across an Onion news story with the headline “Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film as ‘Fun, Watchable'”, I just had to take a peek. Thanks, again, to my school pal, Terry, for pointing me in the direction of http://www.theonion.com/He sent me some Onion links in March (I put them in Feel Good Friday) and I haven’t looked back – or away from the computer – since! 😉
Last – but not least – I couldn’t post about Star Trek without making you watch Eddie Izzard’s absolutely magnificent piece which sums up Star Trek in a nutshell. The sound quality is pretty rubbish but watch out for the “Bones, Jim, Spock!” part…
If you’ve come here looking for Crafty Tuesday (which has been a weekly post on the blog since September last year) then please don’t worry – it hasn’t completely disappeared! (By the way, did you see last Tuesday’s craft post? It was a round-up of everything I’ve done. So if you’re itching to do a craft right now, you can find it right here.)
The Danish spring weather has brought out that ‘need to move furniture around’ feeling in me and, since DH (and, let’s be honest, men in general) don’t appreciate that kind of thing, I thought I would move the furniture around in here, my own little blog world 🙂 From now on crafts and recipes will appear on Saturdays. Which makes more sense to me, because that’s when the kids and I have more time to do those things. Maybe you too?
But what about Tuesdays, I hear you cry? Well, I’m thinking along the lines of ‘Tee-hee Tuesday’. Because after a whirlwind start to my week with a long interval NEWO run and a Flylady WHB (weekly clean) on Mondays, I tend to come down with a bit of a bump on Tuesdays. And just like the Incredible Hulk, you won’t like me when I’m angry! 😉
Victor Borge (the famous Danish entertainer) summed it up so well:
“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”
So I’m going to share the things that make me smile and laugh. And especially tee-hee! 😉
For starters, here are three DVDs that make me laugh out loud. Perhaps I’ve mentioned them before? 😉 They are my ‘go to’ DVDs for a quick smile fix.